Breastfeeding moms, why do we have to accommodate people who are not willing to accommodate our breastfeeding babies? I am so tired of people telling me that my baby is 14 months old - time to wean him. I say NO it's not! My baby started eating solids late, he showed no interest of eating solids early. He only wanted to nurse until he was about 12 months old. I still nurse him prior to feeding him solids, so why should I wean him?
The comments I get, even today are, " he is using you as a pacifier". UGH, this irks me! Maybe he does when he's tired but I think it's his preference, why is that wrong?
So I was invited to a family function (wedding shower) for a member of my family. The event is an hour away from me so that's 2 hours worth of travel time and the event is for 3 hours. I am told I can't bring him with - no children allowed. So tell me, why are they allowing my 8 year old cousin to go? OK maybe technically he is considered a toddler which I think at 14 months is a stupid label - in my mind he is a baby. So he has to stay home. Why should he? He should be coming with! So the only option I have to to travel the distance each way and stay a short time. Why though? The answer I get is - he eats solids he doesn't need to come. I am honestly tired people of the comments! I do not tell you how to raise your children - do not tell me how to raise mine! I am doing what I think what's best for my BABY (yes I said baby). Respect that!
So breastfeeding moms, why do they try to bully us into weaning our babies?
What are your thoughts?
I can really relate to this! I have five children (12, 10, 8, 6, and 2 1/2). All my babies weaned themselves. The first two babies were 11 months when they weaned, the third baby was 15 months, the fourth was 18 months, and I am still nursing my 2 1/2 year old. He only nurses here and there, sometimes only once or twice a day.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, I am surrounded by friends who feel this is not a big deal. They have also nursed 2-year-olds, so it isn't shocking to anyone. Since my 2-year-old usually just nurses in the morning and sometimes at night, I don't need to nurse him in public now, but I did when he was younger.
I think breastfeeding became so rare in the previous generation that a lot of people just have a lot of hang-ups about it. Thankfully, the art of breastfeeding is being revived, but many people still feel uncomfortable with older babies and toddlers nursing.
I wish I could give you a big hug--you're doing a great job mothering your little one...don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Follow your maternal instincts! :)
♥Joy
My little man is 14 months right now to and we still nurse. I love nursing him and love how he grabs his blankie and runs to me for nursing and cuddles. I am not even thinking of weaning. It is convenient for me during nights (we co-sleep) and convenient on road trips, no hauling around bottles. I believe that when ever the little man is ready, he will stop nursing. He eats solids when we eat, but still nurses after meals, before naps and at night. I only nursed my daughter until 8 months (I was a working mom and thats how long I could pump till) But this time around I am a stay at home mom and I am loving it! I think people who never nursed this long, will never understand. I used to think it was strange when my sister nursed her 2 year old, but now I think it is sweet how my little man runs to me and asks to nurse. :) Do what ever you think is right, don't listen to unwanted "advice".
ReplyDeleteI am a breastfeeding advocate. I, however, have two different responses to this situation. The first is tell them you can't go because you're breastfeeding and that's a long time away from your BABY. The second is if you really wanted to go, even at 14 months he can live without you for 5 hours. Extended nursing is awesome, I did it myself for nearly two years. But once they start eating regular meals you don't HAVE to nurse. If you want to attend the shower then do it... don't let your decision to continue nursing your baby hinder your own personal experiences.
ReplyDeleteBut like I said first, if nursing is more important to you then tell your friend you don't feel comfortable going without your son.
I have no idea but i'm with you! my first nursed for 3 1/2 years including through a pregnancy and 9 months postpartum. Ds2 is now 2 years 2 months and counting.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's nice to lave and do stuff without a baby (or 2 or 3) but when events like that go out of their way to make it a point that my babies aren't welcome I skip it.
Adults will get over it, my babies need me NOW.
I am still nursing my now 3yr 4 mo old...she wants to nurse and I want to nurse her....to stop just because people think we are "weird" is sad... and unfortunately tempting...none of us like criticism but we need to be willing to take it and do what we ultimately feel is right regardless...i never dreamed I'd be nursing her this long but it is because she is no different to me than she was yesterday or the day before that or the day before that and so it is just something that evolves...I'm feeling a lot of social pressure to wean but I never felt any pressure before she was 2...it seems like that is a pretty common time to still be nursing...in the end just ask yourself if it is still "mutually desired" ...and what your motives are for weaning...that is what matters. Good luck
ReplyDeleteI am still nursing my now 3yr 4 mo old...she wants to nurse and I want to nurse her....to stop just because people think we are "weird" is sad... and unfortunately tempting...none of us like criticism but we need to be willing to take it and do what we ultimately feel is right regardless...i never dreamed I'd be nursing her this long but it is because she is no different to me than she was yesterday or the day before that or the day before that and so it is just something that evolves...I'm feeling a lot of social pressure to wean but I never felt any pressure before she was 2...it seems like that is a pretty common time to still be nursing...in the end just ask yourself if it is still "mutually desired" ...and what your motives are for weaning...that is what matters. Good luck
ReplyDeleteI have never had anyone comment on my breastfeeding my babes, the first till 22 months, the second till 20 months. And they were big babies, always looked older than they were. One sideways look once when out in public, but it's a rare person here who would actually dare say something. And why people think it is their business about your breastfeeding relationship with your child is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteIs it an option to NOT go to the function? Yes, why is an 8 yr old going if there's a no kids rule? I'd boycott, lol.
Good luck with it all!
I am mother of eight, and totally breastfed each baby. Never even owned a bottle (or a crib) - My kids went everywhere with me. Thankfully I had the support of La Leche League mothers back then. My kids all weaned on their own - one as early as 8 months and straight to a cup, and one as late as 33 months, and he was my biggest baby as he grew, always in the 99th percentile, and he's now 28yo, 6ft4 and serving in the US Coast Guard. You *follow your child* and meet his needs where he is at. Do not give in to the peer pressure of women who do not understand natural breastfeeding. You will never regret serving your child! Me, I would go to the shower and bring my baby with me.
ReplyDeleteWith my oldest daughter I had to stop due to a medical emergency on my part, and she was just 8 months old. I was devastated! With all the others I allowed self weaning. They stopped when they wanted to, and at all different times. 17 mths, 11 mths, 15 mths, I never pushed one way or the other after a year. I understand how you feel, I had my own family tell me I was wrong for nursing after 6 mths. I ignored all of them because in the end MOTHER KNOWS BEST. Do what's right for the two of you, and ignore the rest of them. :)
ReplyDeleteMy son is 19 months and just last month he self-weaned. I cried. I wasn't ready even if he was. I completely understand where you are coming from. You have to do what is in your heart and everyone else can deal with it. I'd tell the people that you either both come or none of you come.
ReplyDeleteMy children self weaned too. Both at different times and I think it's just fine to nurse until it's naturally time to wean. :)
ReplyDeleteVicky C.
t42vek20 at gmail dot com