I consider myself watchful of my children. I do not allow them away from me out in public places. As I explain to them it only takes a second for something to happen. I have seen it on the news time after time how children are abducted and some are reunited with their families while unfortunately others are never found. When I was a child I went to school with Adam Walsh so I know the devastation of a child being kidnapped.
During the weekend a creepy thing happened to be in the grocery store which has prompted me to write this post.
I had 4 of my children with me. My 2 year old son was home with my husband, the baby was in her baby sling, my 4 year old daughter was in the front of the shopping cart while my 5 year old son was sitting in the back of the shopping cart. My 8 year old walked next to me helping me grab the items off the shelf and placing them in the bottom of my cart being that it was hard to bend over with the baby laying down in her carrier.
We were down an aisle and a man came up behind us and said the same thing I hear time after time, "are those children all yours"? I replied yes. His response was, "oh I would like to have one of your boys, mine are grown and out of the house." Of coarse my response was no, they are keepers. At first I thought how sad it will be when the day comes when my kids are grown and out of the house how much I will miss seeing them daily. Then I started to think how creepy it was for a man who looked about my age to ask for one of my boys. I will be 40 in a few months so I started to doubt his claim to his kids grown and moved out of the house. Maybe it was harmless but it really got me thinking, not that everyone is a child abductor but even the nicest of person to be careful because looks are deceiving.
As a mom I have educated my older children not to speak to strangers, not to take gifts from strangers, not to go anywhere with strangers. Here are my rules for my kids I stick to in public places.
1) Our homeschool group gets together quite a bit at the park for play dates and with 3 different play areas at the park I am constantly on the look out where each child is but sometimes it gets tricky so I dress my 4 older kids all in the same brightly colored shirts so I can find them easily.
2) I use my double or triple stroller, baby carrier or shopping carts as much as possible. Since my kids are younger I find it better to keep them contained to one place as much as possible.
3) My boys for some reason like to walk behind me in a store, etc. My rule is for them to walk aside me or right in front of me. If possible for them to place one hand on the stroller or shopping cart.
4) Never ever allow them to go off my themselves even if they are in an eye shot.
5) Some may disagree but my oldest is 8 years and if we are out in public I do not allow him to use a men's public bathroom unless my husband is with us. We either use a family bathroom or we go in a women's bathroom. Since I cannot see what is going on in the men's bathroom, I refuse to put my boys in a circumstance that can be bad.
6) Avoid saying my kids loudly in public as well as not allowing them to wear shirts, etc. in public with their names on it. I do not want strangers to know my kids names in public. After all, I have taught my kids not to speak to strangers and if someone calls them by name because they have heard me say their name or their name on their shirt, bag, etc. than my kids may second guess them being a stranger.
Here are some books that I have read to my children teaching them the importance of safety and strangers:
The Swimsuit Lesson
Mama Will You Hold My Hand
Don't Talk To Strangers
The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers
I know many of my tips will change as they grow older but as they are younger my husband and I have to protect them from the ugliness that goes on in this world. I want my kids to remain innocent and pure and to try to keep the ugliness out as much as I can and protecting them from harm as many parents would want for their kids.
What rules do you follow by when out in public with your kids to keep them safe?
As a mom I have educated my older children not to speak to strangers, not to take gifts from strangers, not to go anywhere with strangers. Here are my rules for my kids I stick to in public places.
1) Our homeschool group gets together quite a bit at the park for play dates and with 3 different play areas at the park I am constantly on the look out where each child is but sometimes it gets tricky so I dress my 4 older kids all in the same brightly colored shirts so I can find them easily.
2) I use my double or triple stroller, baby carrier or shopping carts as much as possible. Since my kids are younger I find it better to keep them contained to one place as much as possible.
3) My boys for some reason like to walk behind me in a store, etc. My rule is for them to walk aside me or right in front of me. If possible for them to place one hand on the stroller or shopping cart.
4) Never ever allow them to go off my themselves even if they are in an eye shot.
5) Some may disagree but my oldest is 8 years and if we are out in public I do not allow him to use a men's public bathroom unless my husband is with us. We either use a family bathroom or we go in a women's bathroom. Since I cannot see what is going on in the men's bathroom, I refuse to put my boys in a circumstance that can be bad.
6) Avoid saying my kids loudly in public as well as not allowing them to wear shirts, etc. in public with their names on it. I do not want strangers to know my kids names in public. After all, I have taught my kids not to speak to strangers and if someone calls them by name because they have heard me say their name or their name on their shirt, bag, etc. than my kids may second guess them being a stranger.
Here are some books that I have read to my children teaching them the importance of safety and strangers:
The Swimsuit Lesson
Mama Will You Hold My Hand
Don't Talk To Strangers
The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers
I know many of my tips will change as they grow older but as they are younger my husband and I have to protect them from the ugliness that goes on in this world. I want my kids to remain innocent and pure and to try to keep the ugliness out as much as I can and protecting them from harm as many parents would want for their kids.
What rules do you follow by when out in public with your kids to keep them safe?
These are awesome tips. And it's SO crazy that you posted this because I have a post in my drafts right now along the same lines. We had a truck in our area this week trying to lure kids to him by holding up a dancing puppy! So so scary. We live in a very nice, safe community but it can happen anywhere!
ReplyDeleteOh I so love this post! It our job as caretakers to make sure our kids are safe. It is a scary world out there!
ReplyDeleteI understand your concern. I had a man ask my son to show him where the french fries were and my son walked to show him. It freaked me out after all the talking I have had with him that he should stay with me at all times... It is really scary! Thanks for the great tips!
ReplyDeleteThis has been on my mind, too. I would like to know how you talk to your kids about strangers, too! I talked to my daughter and thought she understood but then acted it out with her to see what she would do if a stranger offered her candy and she said she would go with the stranger... (she just turned 5). I kept explaining the dangers and by the end she said no thank you and ran away. She is always with me and my husband and I'm kind of a helicopter mom in that I never let her out of my sight but it's still scary thinking of someone trying to lure her into their vehicle or something.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing! I especially love the tip about putting your kids in the same bright shirts - I hadn't thought of that!
Great tips. Just a note about age.....I'm 43 and my kids are 20 & 17--one is out of the house. it's hard. I'm not going to like it very much when my daughter moves out, we are very close. that is going to be tough.
ReplyDeleteGlad to read that everything turned out well. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with not letting your 8-year go to the bathroom alone. He is a child. If anyone has a problem with that, too bad.
Thanks for sharing.
Besos, Sarah
Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo
Thank goodness! I thought it was just me that was so protective! I get teased a lot about how strict I am with e kids in public places. But I would far rather be strict than to have someone grab my kid and lose them forever. This isn't the same safe time that I grew up in.
ReplyDeleteit is a scary world we live in. Thanks for the great list and reminder to keep our babies close and always a watchful eye.
ReplyDeleteI have seen too many bad things happen in my lifetime. I am hyper vigilant when it comes to my children. My husband leads the pack holding my 4 year old's hand in public while the rest follow the leader while I complete the "train". No one is allowed away, to the bathroom or anything without us.
ReplyDeleteI used to trust church, but my oldest son started acting completely different when he was about six years old. He went from normal/happy, to wanting to die, violent, etc. As a former teacher my heart froze because I had seen the signs before and I just took my son to the doctor. It came out in therapy that he had been abused by a trusted member of our church(my husband was one of the pastors). It was heart rending. I now teach my children at home since I have yet to find a church in our area who does background checks like CLA recommends.
I have learned that there are just really evil people in the world, and I am at that point that I am ready to homeschool my kids next year, although I want them to have the educational experiences I didn't have growing up.
I also have an eight, nearly nine year old boy. I stand outside the men's room talking the entire time....if you need me, I won't hesitate to come in, you have 30 seconds before I come in, etc.....I know it's not foolproof, but I give him some independence. And, it let's anyone in the bathroom know that I am RIGHT there and WILL go into the men's room.
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas! We do live in a scary world. Parents have to walk that fine line between protective and not over protective. It is so hard in this day and age. Just know parents do have options for helping aid in that line between over and under protective with things like The Lassy Project.
ReplyDeleteOh and the Swimsuit Lesson, is a great book, written by a great man. Really helps parents discuss with their children where they should not allow others to touch them. It's sad we have to discuss that at all, but now a days, we do. This book really helps aid in that conversation!
I am like you. I never allow my kids out of sight. I agree with #5, although my oldest is only 5 I wouldn't allow him to go to the bathroom alone. He either goes to with me, his dad, or he waits until we are home.
ReplyDeleteI educate my 6 yr old as much I can! As I will my son when he is old enough to reply back to me..As they get older, re-address ways to be safe.. communicate with them at any age.. build a trusting relationship with them so they have someone to trust! NEVER LEAVE UR CHILD IN THE CAR EVEN FOR A MINUTE! (don't know how many moms I have told on for this! next time, just leave it running so they can take the kids and the car!) if parents use common sense their kids will. it breaks my heart to c the stories! I let my daughter watch the video of the brave little girl who got away from the "man" in walmart.. she knows the rules and safety actions when we are out! I hope that more parents will be more aware and discuss safety with their children! thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThat is creepy. I would think a man would know better than to talk like that even if it were true.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew is 10 and we do not let him go to the men's bathroom. He always comes to the women's with us. I'm not sure when we'll let him go to the men's bathroom, that's so scary.
Two of my children have special needs so it's extremely difficult for them to understand what strangers are. I try to never let them out of my sight. But, just in case, I tell them to only talk to Mommies.
ReplyDeleteThat's one thing i am scared of when taking my kids in public. kids wander at times it's their nature because they get curious but we adults have to keep closely at them because people can get nasty.
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We have the same rule on the bathroom. My oldest is 8, but I will let him go into the women's restroom if that the only option. I am kind of a helicopter mom due to my past so they are never to be out of my sight in public.
ReplyDeleteI have 3 boys 9yr, 7yr and my little guy just turned 12 month. I'm very protective of my boys. Like you I will not let them go to the men's room alone. There are just to many weirdos in the world and it only takes one time for something bad to happen. With my past I tend to be more over protective.
ReplyDelete